A memory, huh?
It was March 5th, 2014.
When i hit the bottom,
when i found out that life could hit you at your finest,
when life taught you things even when you're not ready,
when days are went amazing but in the night you're just crying all over the same things & continued for 5 months,
when life taught you to see the different side in everything..
when you realized, life isn't about a good memory,
but a beautiful tragedy.
A memory, huh?
It was July 4th, 2014.
When it is not only an independence day of America,
but it is also an independance day in my life.
When you already free from everything that holds your breath,
when you can totally see everything clearly,
when all you do every night isn't crying but thanking God that you still survived till the day you think you're not.
A memory, huh?
It was January, 17th, 2017.
When i'm totally fucked up because of my own mistakes.
When almost everyone see me as 'black'.
When i'm always looking down and faking my happiness just to survive
when i really didn't want to go to school because it such a pressure,
when i need to help myself to get up
and prove to them all that they should see my white even it is just a dot in my black pages.
A memory, huh?
It was August, 5th, 2017.
When i didn't care about everything but music & dreams.
When my playlist in Spotify knows me better than a human.
When all i see is happiness in the crowd,
when i see harmony in every steps i take.
It was a good memory,
a very very good memory till all i want to do is going back to that day if i could.
A memory, huh?
It was February, 16th, 2018.
When heartbreak is created by the postponed concert of your favorite band,
when everything is out of hand,
when all you can do is nothing but expecting nothing while you hurt inside & outside
When the train that supposed to free the curiosity, turns out to be the train that go home with cold reality.
A memory, huh?
It was September, 18th, 2019.
When you do the first thing that changes your life so much,
give impact so much in your life that you really grateful for that day.
When you feel the air is so much breathable with a thing called..
cigarettes.
A memory, huh?
It was December, 3rd, 2019.
When you have the best day with your friends
in the day you thought it wouldn't be that great.
The day you can finally run from side to side of the beach,
blaming life but still thanking for it.
A memory, huh?
It was April, 13th, 2020.
My friends said, "Find a place in this little town so that you think you should always coming back home."
I finally found a reason to always remember my home,
to always go back here,
but its not a place.
Its the people.
A memory, huh?
It was May, 23rd, 2020.
I thought i couldn't be hurt harder in love,
but starting from this date till July 27th,
i realized that.. i still have hearts that could hurted anytime even when i didn't want to.
Unpredictably hurting and deadly beautiful.
But.. hey,
i survived.
A memory, huh?
It was the beginning of this month.
When you have your homies around,
when you know them better by spending time less than a week.
When you so sure that you're right about home,
that it is not a place but its still and always be the people.
-
There will be a lot of upcoming memories,
when everything feels so long,
a moment of ups and downs,
suprises that came with no hello,
many people that comes and goes,
and everything that happens with no intro & ending.
but..
at least,
remember that it will be lasts,
it will grow us to be a better human,
it will built us into a beautiful creature in this damn cold world.
mark my words.
<3
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